In My Day

(see other comedy notes)

1. I feel sorry for today's teenagers.
2. In my day we had simple pleasures.
3. Fun was wearing leggings.
4. Or trying to post a cat through someone's letterbox.
5. I went to a boy's school.
6. Cheerfulness was obligatory.
7. 'Mental health issues' didn't exist.
8. Self-harming was futile.
9. If you looked 'glum' the teachers would cheer you up by throwing tennis balls at you in the shower.
   • (in those days, people were very sporting).
10. Nowadays, teenagers are groomed by algorithms.
11. They are forced into Sexting, Tindering, or online suicide.
12. In my day we just had table tennis.
13. Before you could talk to a girl you'd have to play mixed doubles for hours.
14. Very character-building.
15. And muscle building, too.
16. My serving arm became visibly larger than the other.
17. In my day, youth clubs were safe.
18. It was hard to escape from the beady eye of a scoutmaster or priest.
19. Admittedly, some of these characters were a trifle eccentric.
20. But in those days, eccentricity was a proud British tradition!
21. One eccentric gentleman would strut around the park wearing only a buttonless mackintosh.
22. Our local policeman called him ‘Flash Gordon’....
23. In today's woke generation I believe they call this a ‘gender reveal’.

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1. In my day we sat on grey sofas watching grey comedy on grey TV screens.
2. You can still see some of these old British sitcoms on certain channels.
3. But if you want to watch, say, ‘Last of the Summer Wine’ you get an 'inappropriate language' warning.
4. Sorry, but I find this baffling.
5. If you need a health warning for ''Allo Allo' why isn't there one for ‘Naked Attraction’?
6. Some customs have obviously gone completely arse-about-face!!! (excuse my French)
7. We were brought up to do things in the correct order.
8. Thrusting your genitalia in a suitor's face should happen AFTER a formal introduction?

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